[They still sound like a bit of a chore, but less annoying than figuring out a professional gift. How many ways are there to say "I don't plan on knowing you as a person but respect you as a colleague, Merry Christmas"? Not many.]
You're really good at that kind of thing, though, aren't you, Erika? Computers, I mean.
Very. Probably more than you can imagine, actually.
[Erika is shy at the moment but shy does not mean modest. She breathes in through her nose, in that slow way that people do when they're rifling through memories.]
It was an internet cafe. Things like that were up to the membership service, or my brother. I handled back-end issues, not customers.
[Even years ago Erika wouldn't have taken offense. It's just True.]
Well, it wasn't like... [A lump presents itself in her throat. She swallows it down by force, glances back at Mia for a moment as though gauging...something, and goes on matter-of-factly.] Our parents were gone, and I was sick back then, so I didn't go to school. It fit the circumstances.
Our parents were gone, too-- mine and Maya's, by the time she was three.
[There's little emotion to it, just like Erika's. It's an exchange. Erika has given her potentially sensitive information; to urge her trust, Mia gives the same. Glancing at Erika, she adds in a short, one-sided smile.]
It's still pretty impressive. Taking care of yourselves and each other like that... It's hard work.
Earning money is pretty simple. The hard part is always the...soft stuff. He talked more, but I don't think it - I was young [you still are, erika] so maybe I didn't get to know him well enough, but I'm sure it didn't come naturally to him, either.
[Mia crosses her arms, staring at the path ahead.]
It can be really difficult when someone's found themselves in charge of another child when they're still [just a child?] very young themselves, but I can imagine he tried.
[She would have-- did, in a similar place, but still doesn't feel like it was enough. Perhaps Erika's brother is... was the same.]
[Her heart hurts. That little tap of silence before the question leaves her confused about whether it's a good or a bad hurt.]
No. I don't really know what happened to him. He might be fine, or - the Hunger could have already gotten around to our world. Or maybe something else happened, there's no telling. [There's a note of weary tension in her voice. Like, she's not mad that this is the topic at hand, but she just sounds existentially frustrated with it. With not knowing for sure, even after thinking about this over and over in the nearly two years since.] My time ran out, and I woke up somewhere else. Eventually it swallowed that place. It could have been forever ago.
i don't have a good icon for this right now wom wom womp
[Mia is quiet, for just a moment, before her hand comes to rest on Erika's shoulder.]
Or, he might be fine.
[It's gentle. Mia and her sister have a similar aura to them when they get serious, like this, the tranquil kind of seriousness that comes from their spiritual training.]
In a universe with millions of possibilities, there's always that chance. Just like there's the chance we'll still be able to do something about this. About all of it.
[It's so gentle. Even at her best, determination makes Erika cold and sharp and wistful. She enjoys this attention, though she feels sometimes like it's wasted on her.]
Yeah, I've...considered the odds. Even one percent isn't zero. [a very Erika way of agreeing.] If it were, I wouldn't have taken the Director's hand to begin with. Or stuck it out for this last mission. [She shrugs again, a hrrm noise catching in her throat and trailing off.
Her pace slows, because she abruptly looks up over her shoulder at Mia, just...staring at her for a moment, in thought.]
[Erika's pause causes Mia to slow in turn, eyes a bit wide in puzzlement. As much as she doesn't show other emotions very candidly, curiosity is one thing Mia never hides.
There are things she could press about Erika's other comments, but it's really the hesitation that's caught her attention.]
It's basically Christmas. [They're nearly to the tavern. It's late enough in the afternoon that there's a light haze of activity on the street, patches of sound filling up silences with warmth.] Last year we'd just come back from a mission. It was a success in every way. People on base were generous.
[So...lots of gifts. It was a happy time. Erika looks puzzled for a moment as something comes to mind, vaguely self-conscious about sharing it.] ...Maya made me this...party hat. With a spider. I didn't know what to think about it.
[Is that the kind of good story you tell someone?? Is it revealing of anything, she really has no idea.]
[The puzzlement hangs there for a moment. Then drops, rushing out of Erika like air from a balloon as she chuckles too, looking unused to making sounds like that. She folds her arms against the sudden aura of fluster about her, which mostly just makes her look even more flustered.]
I - guess. [She guesses. Is that really how that works?] I mean - yeah. She always takes new things in stride. That's what I've seen.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[They still sound like a bit of a chore, but less annoying than figuring out a professional gift. How many ways are there to say "I don't plan on knowing you as a person but respect you as a colleague, Merry Christmas"? Not many.]
You're really good at that kind of thing, though, aren't you, Erika? Computers, I mean.
[cos god does she know so very little.]
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Very. Probably more than you can imagine, actually.
[Erika is shy at the moment but shy does not mean modest. She breathes in through her nose, in that slow way that people do when they're rifling through memories.]
It was an internet cafe. Things like that were up to the membership service, or my brother. I handled back-end issues, not customers.
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[It's not even sarcastic, it's just. Erika.... isn't customer service material, alright. Not everyone is. That's fine.]
You're a bit young for it, aren't you? That's impressive.
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Well, it wasn't like... [A lump presents itself in her throat. She swallows it down by force, glances back at Mia for a moment as though gauging...something, and goes on matter-of-factly.] Our parents were gone, and I was sick back then, so I didn't go to school. It fit the circumstances.
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[Answers Mia, simply, elegantly.]
Our parents were gone, too-- mine and Maya's, by the time she was three.
[There's little emotion to it, just like Erika's. It's an exchange. Erika has given her potentially sensitive information; to urge her trust, Mia gives the same. Glancing at Erika, she adds in a short, one-sided smile.]
It's still pretty impressive. Taking care of yourselves and each other like that... It's hard work.
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Earning money is pretty simple. The hard part is always the...soft stuff. He talked more, but I don't think it - I was young [you still are, erika] so maybe I didn't get to know him well enough, but I'm sure it didn't come naturally to him, either.
[...
she shrugs.]
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[Mia crosses her arms, staring at the path ahead.]
It can be really difficult when someone's found themselves in charge of another child when they're still [just a child?] very young themselves, but I can imagine he tried.
[She would have-- did, in a similar place, but still doesn't feel like it was enough. Perhaps Erika's brother is... was the same.]
Was he with you, before all this happened?
[Was he like Mia? Dead?]
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No. I don't really know what happened to him. He might be fine, or - the Hunger could have already gotten around to our world. Or maybe something else happened, there's no telling. [There's a note of weary tension in her voice. Like, she's not mad that this is the topic at hand, but she just sounds existentially frustrated with it. With not knowing for sure, even after thinking about this over and over in the nearly two years since.] My time ran out, and I woke up somewhere else. Eventually it swallowed that place. It could have been forever ago.
i don't have a good icon for this right now wom wom womp
Or, he might be fine.
[It's gentle. Mia and her sister have a similar aura to them when they get serious, like this, the tranquil kind of seriousness that comes from their spiritual training.]
In a universe with millions of possibilities, there's always that chance. Just like there's the chance we'll still be able to do something about this. About all of it.
We just have to keep believing it can be so.
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Yeah, I've...considered the odds. Even one percent isn't zero. [a very Erika way of agreeing.] If it were, I wouldn't have taken the Director's hand to begin with. Or stuck it out for this last mission. [She shrugs again, a hrrm noise catching in her throat and trailing off.
Her pace slows, because she abruptly looks up over her shoulder at Mia, just...staring at her for a moment, in thought.]
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There are things she could press about Erika's other comments, but it's really the hesitation that's caught her attention.]
What's on your mind?
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...Gifts. [That's not what's actually on her mind.] Last year you weren't here yet.
[But thinking about whether Mia owns nice slippers or not is preferable to heading down that particular thought spiral.]
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['Last year, I was dead,' is a thought that Mia doesn't voice. She lets it pass, looking back up at the road they're on.]
Is it much like Christmas? I'm not as familiar, but I know Maya's all about it this year.
[Perhaps for the fun of it, but she suspects it's also for the chance to cheer everyone up.]
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[So...lots of gifts. It was a happy time. Erika looks puzzled for a moment as something comes to mind, vaguely self-conscious about sharing it.] ...Maya made me this...party hat. With a spider. I didn't know what to think about it.
[Is that the kind of good story you tell someone?? Is it revealing of anything, she really has no idea.]
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Is that right? Sounds like her, enough.
[Another little chuckle.]
We didn't really have chances to celebrate Christmas much, back home. I guess the spiders just add to the appeal of celebrating something new...
[She doesn't sound TOO convinced, but it's not like she hates bugs herself.
just pink butterflies]no subject
I - guess. [She guesses. Is that really how that works?] I mean - yeah. She always takes new things in stride. That's what I've seen.
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[Admits Mia, looking ahead]
She's... inspiring.
[Is what Mia settles on, it would seem.]
She's unstoppable, even when she's afraid. Or... when things are very, very strange.